The puppy, I mean, toddler diaries

I really like dogs but I have no desire to own one. They’re needy, messy, smelly and noisy – exactly like children and I already have one of those. I sometimes hear other parents get annoyed when childless folk compare puppy owning to raising a small child but it doesn’t annoy me. To be honest, hearing stories from my puppy owning friends, I think they do sound pretty similar. Here are some ways that I think toddlers and puppies might not be that different. These are also the reasons that we have a cat.

The Sleeping Routine

God I hate the sleeping routine. My one-year-old just hates going to sleep. For once, I would love it if she just decided she was tired and fell asleep instead of the drama of crying her head off because she’s over tired or deciding it’s play time because a tiny sliver of light got through the ‘blackout’ blinds. And puppies are no different. You have to do all the same things like tire them out, create a calm environment and make sure they stick to their own bed. Urgh I’m exhausted thinking about it.

Toilet Training

We haven’t dealt with this one yet but trying to convince a toddler to go for a wee in a plastic potty when she’s been used to just going wherever she fancies is not something I’m particularly looking forward to. And I know puppy owners face similar joys trying to persuade their canine friends to wee up against a tree instead of their nice sofa.

The Energy

Toddlers are big balls of energy. Puppies are also big balls of energy. God help anyone who has both.


A puppy’s cry might actually be the most heartbreaking sound in the world, only just after the sound of your baby crying. It doesn’t matter that they’re crying over something ridiculous like you wouldn’t let them chew on the remote control (puppies and toddlers can be accused of this) it’s still upsetting to hear.

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